Saudade: Twilight's Journey to Save Spike
by The Great Hunt
Summary: An out of genre experience kills Spike, leaving Twilight heartbroken. Princess Celestia knows of somepony who may be able to help. The journey to this pony will be difficult, but the real challenge begins when the Mane Six meet her. Rated Mature for violence, gore, and sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: **The author of this work of fan fiction does not own, nor is affiliated with the owners of, _My Little Pony: Friendship if Magic_, nor _The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim_. _My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic_ is property of Hasbro, and _The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim_ is owned by Bethesda.

Chapter I

_But...there is one they fear. In their tongue... he is 'Dovahkiin'-Dragonborn!_

_-_Esbern, of the Blades. _Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim_

"Hey look, a cave. Wonder what's inside" said a pale brunette woman with an athletic build under her fur and steel armour.

"Yes...Lydia...we just slaughtered a band of bandits in there..." sighed the woman's companion...a rather large man wearing the armour of a brigand...a heavy iron chest plate and horned helmet, with steel cuffs and boots.

"I've never seen anything like that, before," continued Lydia, pointing to a small door in the side of the mountain.

"Hey...that actually is kinda new...reminds of the Brotherhood Sanctuary door before I slaughtered those bunch of cowards...show them to kidnap me in my sleep...Speaking of which...I've been meaning to ask...weren't you in the bed with me? Didn't you...um...you know...see them or something?" replied the large man.

"Oh, a bit of this and a bit of that," answered Lydia. The man rolled his eyes.

"Lydia...I think perhaps I should have smithed you a helmet...I swear...you get more derpy everyday...oh well...you are still good for a few things," smiled the man, looking over at Lydia's back side.

"I am sworn to carry your burdens," said Lydia.

"Indeed...if you didn't have such a great arse...you would be burdened...with a whole belly-full...luckily, we haven't had any splash conceptions, yet" smirked the man. Turning his attention to the door, he saw that it was much too small to walk through. He could craws through it, though, and amazingly, the door came opened easily.

"You stay here, Lydia. I'm going in," ordered the man.

"As you wish, my thane," replied Lydia. With that, the man began crawling through the passageway.

"So nice of you to help carry my groceries," said a white unicorn with dark purple hair to a dragon by her side.

"I'd do anything for you," replied the dragon, hearts in his eyes.

"Of course...alright, first on the list...carrots...Hey, right there is Golden Harvest...Hello, Golden Harvest...gone beyond your garden lately?" said the white unicorn.

"Not lately, Rarity. How are you two?" replied the yellow earth pony with hair as orange as the carrots she was selling.

"Oh, you know, just shopping. Twilight was kind enough to lend me Spike to help me...need a bunch of groceries after Sweetie Belle fixed another one of her famous breakfasts..." Rarity said.

"Well, I have all of your carrot needs...even have a stock of carrot peelers...the duck also tried to sell me an electric carrot peeler...but who besides a rabbit eats that many carrots?" said Golden Harvest, bringing out her produce for Rarity to look at.

"Perhaps Fluttershy might find an electric carrot peeler useful for Angel—what the?" Rarity said in alarm as a large, bipedal being the likes of which she had never seen before ran in with a sword, and then proceeded to swing the sword right on top of Spike. As the sword landed on the ground, Spike's wide eyes suddenly fell away, as the two halves of him fell to the side.

"Spike!" cried Rarity, cradling the remains of the baby dragon. As she did a great wind of energy seemed to go from Spike's body to the strange animal, and as the wind blew, Spike's scales and flesh burned off until nothing but bones and scales were left.

"No need to thank me, citizen. Just a day's work for the Dragonborn," said the strange animal, looking quite pleased with himself as he rested his sword over his shoulder.

"What...why did you just...you killed Spike," stammered Rarity, eyes filled with tears. A crowd of ponies surrounded the scene.

"And absorbed his soul...now he will stay dead...if I could have have those bones and scales...when my smithing skill gets to one-hundred, I'm going to make some dragon plate armour...though interestingly, it isn't as good as the dradric armour you only need ninety skill to smith..." said the Dragonborn.

"What...what kind of sociopath are you? Spike never did anything to you," screamed Rarity. Before the Dragonborn could respond.

"Spike? What bout Spike..._Gasp!_ What happened to Spike!" cried a purple unicorn with wings, eyes going wide in shock as she saw the skeletal remains of her number one assistant.

"This...this sociopath cleaved him clean in two...and then absorbed his soul...whatever that means," said Rarity.

The purple unicorn's eyes narrowed as she stared at the Dragonborn. A purple aurora surrounded her horn as she stepped closer to the human.

"Hey, back off, or I'll-" the Dragonborn was interrupted as he was engulfed in a purple mushroom explosion. To everyone there, the explosion reminded them of Rainbow Dash's Sonic Rainbooms, except somehow more angry and less show offish.

When the dust cleared, nothing of the Dragonborn remained. Scared and shocked ponies gingerly raised from the crouch positions many had taken.

"How...?" Lemony Gem, a yellow unicorn with blue hair, muttered to herself. Twilight, whether or not she had heard Gem's question, said,

"The spell...was all of my rage targeted into pure energy...luckily...the energy is only transferred to the object of the emotion..."

"Whoa...remind me to never piss Twilight off," commented Rainbow Dash, who had flew down when she had seen the mushroom cloud.

"Ya mean more than ya usually do?" smirked Applejack, moving her hoof as she did. Rainbow Dash just gave the orange earth pony a dirty look before turning her attention back to Twilight.

Twilight cradled the bisected skeleton in her hoofs, tears flowing rapidly down her face, a look of saddens and shock. The other Elements of Harmony who were in Ponyville that day; Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash, gathered around Twilight for support. Twilight did not seem to notice her friends...she did not seem to notice anything around her...she just kept staring into the large eye sockets as her own eyes released a river of tears. Finally, she looked up and sobbed,

"Spike..."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter II

_They say young true love hurts, well this could almost kill me_

_Young love murder, that is what this must be_

-Kesha Rose Sebert, _The Harold Song_

"How long has she been in her room?" asked a large white alicorn with a multi-coloured mane that swayed in the wind. Her inquiry was directed at Applejack.

"She's been in there pretty much all the time since da...since da funeral...uh, Princess," answered Applejack. "That's why we wrote that letter...well, Rarity wrote it, since she has da best handwriting and all, but we all decided Twilight needs something to cheer her up...and, gosh darn it, we've tried everything...even Pinkie Pie can't get a smile outta her, and she even got Cranky Doodle to smile...then we all reckoned you'd have an answer...you have known her longer than we have...and you're Princess Celestia, ya know just about everything,"

"Oh, Applejack...if you knew how little I really know, then ponies wouldn't bow to me nearly as often...though, a wise pony once said the sign of wisdom is realising how little you know...a fool knows it all...but I have been working on this problem...and I believe I might have a solution...but I'll have to talk to Twilight first," said Princess Celestia. Turning to the door of the Golden Oaks Library and entering through, she walked up the steps to the outside of Twilight's bedroom.

Gently knocking, Princess Celestia said, "Twilight...I've come to see you...please open the door."

After a few minutes, where Princess Celestia's acute hearing caught several sobs, Twilight responded with "I'm...I'm not in the mood for visitors today."

"Twilight...you have been in there a while...you're friends are worried...besides, I might know how to bring Spike back..." said Princess Celestia. Surprising Princess Celestia, the door quickly opened. Twilight's eyes where red, raw from crying, and her mane was very unkempt...but the sadness in her face had been replaced with a frantic look.

"Bring...bring Spike...back? But Princess...in our lessons, you mentioned several times you cannot bring ponies back from the dead...you can bring them back from the edge of dead further than a regular physician or medimagicka can...well, you did say 'pony'...do dragons work differently?" asked Twilight.

Princess Celestia shook her head. "No, Twilight. Dragons work the same as ponies...and you are very correct. _I_ cannot resurrect ponies...but I know someone can..."

"Who?" asked Twilight, surprised. Besides maybe Discord or Chrysalis when she was feeding off the Princess of Love, Princess Celestia was the most powerful magic user in Equestria, and even they could not bring back the dead...well, Discord could do the whole zombie thing to cause discord, but she knew that was not what Princess Celestia was meaning...and nothing said Chrysalis _couldn't_ raise the dead, but Twilight very much doubted she had that ability.

"Sigh...my sister is the Princess of the Underworld and Death..." said Princess Celestia.

Twilight shook her head. "You mean Princess Aerecura? Isn't she just a personification of death and an old mare's tale...like..."

"Like Nightmare Moon was an old mare's tale," finished Princess Celestia.

Twilight shook her head again. "What is it with you're sisters being considered mythological...and why haven't you mention your sister before?"

"The old tomes establish the connection...and my sister was not an item you needed to learn about...she...she mostly keeps to herself...we...we are not on the best of terms..." said Princess Celestia, glancing downwards.

"Why...why don't you two get along?" asked Twilight. Then remembering how this was a very subject, she began to apologise before being interrupted by Princess Celestia.

"We're very different ponies...we never did get along very well...part of it is the fact she got stuck as Princess of Death after I won a game of dice after Princess Luna and myself defeated Discord...of course, Aerecura was too bush sitting in her room, earphones on listening to her awful music and writing her angsty poetry...but I still invited her...well, we did need a pony to run the Underworld...should have gotten Starswirl to do it...and how does she thank me? Being moody and being all passive aggressive during our rare meetings...we have to meet once every century to discuss business...a magic contract thing...and my are those painful...I'm glad the next one isn't for another seventy-five years...we met during the Equestria War...I had other things to do, being a wartime leader and all, but did she give me a break? No...no, just always making veiled accusations and dragging her feet...a very lose-lose pony, that one is. And always trying to play Luna against me...I have Luna's best interests at heart...Aerecura just another guest at her pity party...oh...sorry Twilight...I got a bit carried away..."

"That's...um...okay, Princess. So...Princess Aerecura can bring Spike back?" asked Twilight.

Princess Celestia nodded. "She has the ability to authorize souls to leave the Underworld and enter the Living world...now, she very rarely does it...in fact, she only did that once...and the harp player mess that up...but you can try to convince her to let Spike's soul go."

"Couldn't we just perform some necromancy and bring Spike back?" asked Twilight.

Princess Celestia gave a look of shock and disgust. "Twilight! My most faithful student! I cannot believe you would even suggest such a vile act! While necromancy does attempt to toy with the forces of life and death...it is very dangerous and very unnatural...it is never a pretty sight...King Sombra gained most of his magic using necromancy, and look at what happened to him and the Crystal Empire...he became a lich that brought misery to his kingdom...is that really what you want, Twilight?"

Looking down with shame, Twilight softly said, "Sorry, Princess. I just want Spike back so badly..."

"I know, Twilight...but you want him coming back right...not some monkey's paw thing. My sister would hate it, of course, being fooled...the one good thing about her is she despises necromancy and undead of anykind, and so is a sort of patron saint to vampire hunters and the like, but in this one case she is right...necromancy is very wrong," said Princess Celestia.

"Do you really think we can convince your sister?" asked Twilight, looking up at her teacher.

"_sigh..._I'm not for sure...she is a very difficult pony...but I do know you and your dear friends have faced some great odds...odds I thought you couldn't...to be honest, I was surprise to see you and all of them alive after that Changeling invasion...and reforming Discord...Fluttershy is a genius...perhaps you can pull a hat trick. I have faith in you, number one student," said Princess Celestia, rubbing her cheek against Twilight. She could feel Twilight relax a little as she pulled away.

"Time is of the essence...the longer Spike's soul remains in the Underworld, the less of...himself will remain...I can't exactly explain it...sort of like when Discord corrupted your friends...I guess Spike is now in Erebus...a sort of antechamber to the Underworld the dead go immediately...but you'll have to ask my sister to be for sure...I'll give you a map and a checklist of items which might be useful...though to be honest, I have very little knowledge of what you will face," said Princess Celestia.

"Don't worry, Princess...I will do everything I can to retrieve Spike," responded Twilight, with determination on her face.

"Fluttershy...how is it you were more afraid of marching to see a dragon than you are walking to the valley of death?" asked Rainbow Dash, flying next to a walking Fluttershy.

"Um...I don't know...for one, dragons are just so frightening to me...and also, I've had a lot of character development...so I have more confidence now," answered Fluttershy. With that, the band of six ponies rounded a curve in the road.

"I certainly hope the Underworld has nicer décor than what those old wood etchings depict..." commented Rarity.

"We're ain't there for the décor, we're there ta git Spike n' bring 'im back to life...Ah'm a might worried 'bout how we're gonna deal with that Princess Er-cure-a," said Applejack.

"We handled Nightmare Moon just fine...surely the Death Princess cannot be that much harder," said Pinkie Pie. "Maybe she just needs an awesome party!"

"Ah hope it's that simple...personally, Ah'd like to do some kicking," replied Applejack.

"How crass...perhaps she'll give Spike's soul in exchange for a nice dress...I've been designing some creepy Victorian lacy dresses," said Rarity.

"I'm with Applejack, I want to kick something in the face!" said Rainbow Dash.

"Remember how well that worked with that red dragon?" commented Rarity, raising an eyebrow at Rainbow Dash.

"Maybe Fluttershy will save the day again," said Applejack.

Fluttershy blushed. "Well...I don't know...maybe all she really needs are some nice animals to keep her company...that's why I packed this raven...raven's and death go well together...I could have taken some worms and maggots...but Rarity had a fit when I suggested it."

"I told you, Fluttershy, you do not give royalty worms and maggots...I'd go with an eagle myself," responded Rarity.

"Eagle?" asked Pinkie Pie. "Don't eagles represent elegant strength and power?"

"Oh...that's what they want you to think...but eagles eat all sorts of dead things," replied Rarity.

"What do you think, Twilight?" asked Applejack. Being the most perceptive of the Elements, Applejack could see how Twilight had kept silent, head down, the whole time. Although Applejack found Spike annoying of the time, she could see how depressed Twilight was about the loss of Spike.

"I'll do whatever it takes..." Twilight said softly, not looking up.

"Don't ya fret none, Twi. We've faced worse before...I mean, what can be worst than Nightmare Moon, Discord, Chrysalis, and King Sombra?" reassured Applejack.

"Those are villains...Princess Aerecura isn't evil, per se. She just rules the Underworld...not even like Nightmare Moon...Princess Aerecura stays down there, as far as I know...she's just an obstacle to a, rightly unnatural, goal," replied Twilight.

Before they could talk more, Pinkie shrieked, bouncing up and down.

"The map says we're here!"

"Pinkie...how can you read the map when it is over your face...with holes cut out?" asked Fluttershy, raising an eyebrow.

"I need holes in the map to see, silly," replied Pinkie Pie. The other ponies shook their heads.

"Okay, Amerigo Vespucci. Since we're here...how do we enter the Underworld?" shouted Twilight, an annoyed look on her face.

"Um...that cave with the sign that says 'This way to the Underworld'?" answered Pinkie, taken aback by Twilight's previous tone.

"Then let's go," Twilight said simply, entering the cave, not looking at the others following her.


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCAIMER: **I do not own _My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic_, that franchise is the property of Hasbro. Nor do I own the band Styx, nor their song "Mr. Roboto", written by Dennis De Young, and produced by Styx under the A&amp;M label.

This chapter contains very strong sexual content intended for a mature audience. If such material is offensive to you, you may skip the offending section, outlined by page lines. Please enjoy this work of fan fiction.

Chapter III

_'Cause nothing ever goes as planned_

_It's a hell of a notion_

_Even Pharaohs turn to sand_

_Like a drop in the ocean_

-Styx, _Nothing Ever Goes as Planned_

"This cave sure is, _gulp_, dark," commented Fluttershy, eyes wide looking at every dark corner that might hide some horrible monster.

"Yes...this place could certainly do with interior decorating...actually, I think I saw a pair of curtains that might go well with these stalagmites and stalactites," added Rarity.

"As long as there ain't no bats...don't need Fluttershy becoming a vampire, again," said Applejack.

"I really do doubt that will happen, Applejack," said Fluttershy, in an uncharacteristically sardonic tone. Before Applejack could comment on this response, Fluttershy changed the subject by asking, "So...which ones are stalagmites and stalactites?"

"To be honest...I'm not entirely sure what the difference is," said Rarity, holding a hoof to her chin as she pondered.

"I think the stalagmites are the bottom ones, and the stalactites are the top ones," replied Pinkie, bouncing along, big smile on her face.

"How do ya recon that?" asked Applejack, eyeing the ceiling for bats.

"The way I remember...mites are bugs...and bugs are usually on the ground...while you have to stay 'tight' to stay on the ceiling..." replied Pinkie.

"Hey...that's a pretty smart way of 'membering that," replied Applejack. The other ponies besides Twilight nodded.

"Yeah, that's a pretty good economic," said Rainbow Dash, flying overhead, dodging the stalactites.

"Mnemonic," grunted Twilight, who until that moment, the other ponies could not have said for certain she had been listening. Twilight looked ahead, determinedly.

"Celestia bless you," said Rainbow Dash.

"Uhh...no...'mnemonic' refers to a an association that helps with memory...like the knuckles to know how many days are in a month, or the King Philip to remember the taxonomic hierarchy," Twilight snapped.

Taken aback, Rainbow Dash countered, "Well...I know some big words, too, egghead...like, I was watching the pony Discovery Channel the other day, and the documentary was talking about troglophiles that live in caves...you know, blind flish and stuff like that."

"You would know a thing or two about troglophiles..." Twilight muttered, just loud enough for Rainbow Dash to hear.

"And what's that suppose to mean?" asked Rainbow Dash. Before Twilight could respond, and a larger argument break out, Applejack observed,

"Hey, y'all...there's some sort of river ahead..."

True to her word, ahead ran a wide river. Rather than clear or blue like most rivers in Equestria, this river ran black, with grey rapids. While the cave was already dark, the ponies could see on the other side of the wide river pitch blackness. As they neared, the ponies could make out a hooded figure standing next to a boat.

"That is the river Styx...and that is Kharon, the ferryman who will take us into the Underworld on the other side of the river," said Twilight, not looking back at her companions, instead quickening her pace a bit.

"Hello...you are Kharon, the ferryman for the river Styx, correct?" Twilight asked the hooded figure. The figure, who face was obscured by the hood, nodded.

"Right...one obol, correct?" asked Twilight. Kharon nodded again. Twilight pulled out a small silver coin from her saddle bag and placed it into the skeletal hand.

"Okay, girls...just give Kharon the fare of one obol, and we'll get across the river," said Twilight. She was met with blank stares.

"You know...Kharon's obol..." said Twilight.

"Um...yeah...didn't bring none those," said Rainbow Dash.

"What!?" shouted Twilight. "You're going across Styx!"

"Hey...you take Equestrian Express?" asked Pinkie, pulling out a green credit card with a royal guard's head in profile.

"Of course he doesn't-" Twilight began.

"Yes...and all major credit cards, debit cards, cash, and postal money order. By order of the Princess of the Underworld, we do not accept cheques, however," interrupted Kharon, in a deep but surprisingly not scary voice.

"What?!" cried Twilight.

"Well...really...who even carries around obols anymore...this is not ancient Greece..." replied Kharon.

"So...how many bits is an obol?" asked Applejack.

"One halfpenny," answered Kharon.

"Oh...that is reasonable..." commented Rarity.

"Yeah...a lot more reasonable that what that numismatic shop charged for this old coin..." said Twilight, looking sideways.

In quick order, Pinkie and Rarity had their credit cards slide, while Rainbow Dash and Applejack tossed halfpenny coins into Kharon's hand. Fluttershy gasped when her turn came up.

**CLOP AHEAD**

"Oh my...I seem to have forgotten my wallet...is there some other way I can pay," she asked.

"Well...it does get pretty lonely down here..." said Kharon.

"Fluttershy...I can easily pay a halfpenny for you..." said Rarity.

"No, no...I need to be more independent and make my own way...I insist, and you know how fans love it when I am more assertive...now, Mister Kharon...what were you saying about being lonely?" said Fluttershy.

"Well...you know...I work a lot...have to be on call a lot...ponies die anytime...so I don't have a lot of time for dating...but...you know...I do have needs..." answered Kharon.

"Say no more...just raise that cloak, and I'll take care of it," Fluttershy said, a small smile appearing on her lips.

Quickly, Kharon grabbed the hem of his cloak, and raised his cloak above his pelvis.

"My...I've heard of boners...but you seem to have an actual bone for a penis..." commented Fluttershy.

"Well...it is actually from a raccoon...they have penis bones, you know? Ponies use to use them as toothpicks...anyway, this one raccoon claims he was a guardian of the universe or something...so we play cards...and let's just say he lost," said Kharon.

"Um...sure," said Fluttershy, before taking the bone into her mouth. Although a lack of flesh would indicate a lack of nerves and thus feeling, Kharon moaned as Fluttershy performed the strangest blowjob she had ever given. Running his skeletal hands through Fluttershy hair and pushing her head further down the bone, suddenly he shuttered and groaned.

"Oh...oh...sorry...that usually doesn't happen," Kharon quickly denied. Fluttershy did not seem to listen, as she was too busy spitting. She went to the river's edge before being stopped by Kharon.

"Do not drink from the river Styx...you'll die," he said.

Fluttershy looked around with her tongue out, pleading to her friends with her eyes.

"Oh! Oh! I know what will get that taste out of your mouth!" Pinkie cried, bouncing up to the confused looking Fluttershy, and promptly sticking up her rear and moving her tail aside.

"Have some of my 'Pinkie pie'," said Pinkie. Fluttershy looked uncertain for a moment, before gingerly beginning licking the slit. As she became more comfortable, Fluttershy parted the pink, furry lips with her hooves and made circular motions with her tongue over Pinkie's clint. Soft moans escaped the pink mare as Fluttershy's tongue stimulated her clint in a rhythmic motion. Pinkie's moans built up until she was screaming in pleasure. At her climax, a jet of pink fluid squirted from her slit into Fluttershy's mouth.

Swallowing Pinkie's juice and licking her own lips, Fluttershy commented, "Tastes like bubblegum..."

**END CLOP**

"Can we go now?" asked Twilight, annoyed. Quickly, Pinkie and Fluttershy joined the others on the boat.

"Okay...some rules...do not touch the water...keep all limps inside the boat...and do not disturb the water...bad stuff will happen if the water is disturbed," ordered Kharon. With that, he pushed the boat into the water with his oar, and thus the boat made its way across the river Styx.

About half way through the river, Kharon said to Rarity, "Hey...no calls on the boat."

Not lifting her eyes from her cell phone, Rarity responded, "I'm not calling...nothing says I can't be on twitering on my phone..."

"Well...no...as long as you do not annoy other passengers," Kharon conceded. Rarity sighed in triumph...just before she dropped her phone into the river.

A sudden shaking could be felt.

"No!" cried Kharon. "You have awoken Styx!"

Then, barley audible at first, but growing in volume, everypony could hear the beginnings of a song.

"_Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto," _

"Hold on, everypony!" cried Kharon as he set the boat into full steam ahead. The river tossed violently as the volume increased, rocking the boat to such a degree, Twilight was sure the boat would capsize. In the water itself, a band played.

Riding a huge wave, the boat crashed on the opposite side of the river. Digging herself out of the sand, Pinkie commented,

"First ABBA, not Styx! I'm getting to see so many bands on our adventures."

"We're not here for the music, gypsy bitch," commented Twilight.

"Where to, now?" asked Applejack, following Twilight.

"We've made it to the Underworld...now to meet the Princess," replied Twilight.


	4. Chapter 4

"_Hey, excuse me. Big man. Long long have you been in line for?"_

-Finn, from "Stuck in the Nightosphere", _Adventure Time_

Chapter IV

The other side of the river Styx, while appearing void blackness from the opposite shore, had light beyond its shore. As the six ponies trotted towards the light, the shape of buildings and towers began to form. Though not absolute blackness, various shades of grey dominated the scenery, dotted here and there by the odd colour, mostly hues of blue, but sometimes the occasional red. A silence fell upon the ponies as they trotted up to the silent city, broken only when they reached a building with a sign above the door stating "Welcome Centre". The building did not look very inviting...yet, not threatening, either. To Twilight, the building, with its simple square architecture and boring brick and mortar, reminded her of various governmental buildings in Canterlot. Rarity would have commented on the drab décor if she had seen the building anywhere else, but in the silent city, not even she felt like commenting on fashion. Applejack broke the silence.

"So...uh...we just...go in here?"

Twilight studied the building a moment before replying.

"I guess so...sure doesn't look like a palace for a Princess...I was expecting something more..."

"More Gothic," said Rarity. Twilight just nodded before opening the front door and stepping in, the others following behind her.

Inside surprised the group even more than the outside had...for much the same reason. Inside was a simple waiting room, though larger than even the Canterlot DMV. Rows of chairs with grey-out ponies stretched almost as far as the eye could see. However, at the every end of the rows, Twilight could just make out a service counter. Trotting up to the counter, Twilight asked the faded green earth pony with a name tag that read "Wensley",

"Um...hello...We would like to see Princess Aerecura, please," Twilight requested. Wensley, same bored look on her face, pointed to a stack of clip boards with paperwork besides her.

"Fill out these forms, and we'll get to you," Wensley said, in a country accent not unlike Applejack's. Each pony grabbed a clipboard in their mouth and walked over to some nearby chairs.

Twilight, the most studious pony among them, read through the forms first before filling in. The forms were pretty standard...asking for first and last name, middle initial, date of birth, sex, and reason for being here. So used to paperwork, Twilight quickly filled out the forms and returned the chip board to the receptionist. In return, Wensley gave Twilight a ticket with the code "C7545", and Twilight returned to her seat, lost in her own thoughts.

The next pony to return her paperwork was Rarity, having filled out many business forms. Unlike Twilight, however, Rarity added a flowery, almost calligraphic flair to her form. Wensley did not show any admiration as she handed Rarity her ticket.

The other ponies took a bit longer to fill out their forms. Unicorns, with their magic, could more easily manipulate writing instruments. Earth and Pegasi ponies had a more difficult time, holding pen in their mouths and clumsily moving their mouths and heads to produce a almost child-like printing. Although with practice Earth and Pegasi ponies could manipulate their mouths to write almost as well as unicorns, the non-unicorns in the Mane Six had problems besides physicalities in writing.

"I can spell my name real good," said Pinkie. "P-I-N-K-A-M-E-N-A...D-I-A-N-E...P-Iiiii-E...Pinkie Pie!"

"What are you, a pokémon?" asked Rainbow Dash, already frustrated her usual speed did not translate to filling out the forms. "Let's see here...sex...sure, why not. I could go for a good buck right now...where's 'yes'? All I see is 'M' and 'F'."

"Just put a 'x' by 'F'," said Twilight, not looking up.

"Okay...there...now, wonder who I get to buck," said Rainbow Dash triumphantly. Twilight just rolled her eyes.

"All done...yay!" said Fluttershy, as she returned her paperwork and got a ticket.

Applejack's face a tensed-up in concentration. "Let's see...now Ah gotta make an 'k'...boy, this sure is hard...I can read fine...but writing...why they have to make the letters so curvy when they invented these letters...?"

While Applejack struggled through writing, the other ponies tried to pass the time while they waited for their tickets to be called. Rarity looked with envy at Pinkie's Game Boy Color...until she spotted a rather thick _Vogue_, and with that, she became enveloped in the latest fashions. Rainbow Dash got out a _Daring Do_ book, and Fluttershy picked up a _National Geographic_ to look at the wildlife.

While these distractions kept her friends busy, Twilight became further lost in her own thoughts.

"_Okay, Miss Sparkle...for your entrance exam...we need you to hatch this egg."_

"_But how...?...Okay...Whoa! Holy Shi-!"_

_. . ._

"_That was a very productive lesson...I am proud of how much you have learned during your studies...you must study quite a bit." _

"_Why yes...almost any chance I get...I literally live in the library now, haha," _

"_Hmm...how would you like an assistant?" _

"_An assistant?" _

"_Yes...someone to help you...check your checklists...and the assistant I have in mind doubles as a fax machine between us..." _

"_That sounds helpful...who is this assistant? Hope it's somepony nice." _

"_Not a 'somepony'...you remember that dragon egg you hatched for your entrance exam?"_

_. . . _

"_Sure Spike...you can borrow my needle and thread...what are you...is that a Rarity doll?...for you to sleep with?...That isn't creepy at all...I guess as long as it doesn't have a cavity in the back, it isn't too bad...I just wouldn't bring it to any pancake breakfasts where all of our friends can see it..."_

"_Yeah, yeah, I know, Twilight...Twilight..._Twilight!"

"Wha What!?" cried Twilight, broken out of her thoughts by Pinkie Pie right in front of her.

"Oh, hey, Twilight. I just wanted to ask...the batteries in my Game Boy Color died...do you have any extra double A batteries?" asked the pink mare.

"No, Pinkie...I do not have any double A batteries...or any batteries...for that matter," replied Twilight, an annoyed look on her face.

"Say...can you recharge batteries with your magic?" asked Pinkie.

"No...no I cannot...how long have we been waiting here?" replied Twilight.

"Not sure...I forgot my watch...but long enough for _new_ batteries to die...good thing I wrote down the save password!" replied Pinkie. Twilight looked around. There were no clocks.

"Hey, Rarity...what time is it?" Twilight asked.

"Not sure...I don't have my cell phone...long enough for me to go through six years worth of _Vogue,"_ Rarity answered. The two turned their faces towards Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy.

"Long enough for me to get through nearly six-hundred pages of _Daring Do_...you know, of 732 ages...and I was at page 132 when I started here...boy, I cannot wait for the next one," said Rainbow Dash.

"I usually use a sun dial...but there isn't much sun down here," said Fluttershy.

"Got dun with mah forms...now just a counting tiles..." said Applejack.

"Something must be wrong...I'll go and ask what is taking so long," said Twilight, turning and going up to the receptionist desk.

"Excuse me...but my friends and I have been waiting a rather long time...would you know how much longer it will be?" Twilight asked Wensley.

"Oh...that reminds me...must be getting brain rot...there was a problem with your forms...you all forgot your death date and cause of death...very important for entering the Underworld," answered Wensley.

"Oh...we don't have those...yet. We're still alive," said Twilight. Wensley raised an eyebrow.

"The Underworld is for dead ponies...we don't just let living ponies come running around down here...you all get your panties in a knot about ghosts and zombies and vampires...how do you think the reverse feels to us, huh? Typical living pony attitude," Wensley said in disgust.

"Um...I am Princess Twilight Sparkle...here on a diplomatic missions," said Twilight. Although introverted most of her life, since becoming a princess, Twilight had read about public speaking, and found talking on her feet easier. At least in this case, her answer seemed to work.

"Oh...yeah...heard they got a new princess up there...you wanna go to the Court in the Palace...just go two miles north of here, and take a left, can't miss it," said Wensley.

"Thank you," replied Twilight, going back and telling her friends the news.

"Well...this was kinda meaningless," said Rainbow Dash.

"I hope the castle is nicer than this place," replied Rarity.

"Maybe they have some batteries!" cried Pinkie as she bounced out the door. 


End file.
